Without getting too specific about the information supporting my personal views.......
I associate with a man that I have decided is probably the most negative and self defeated man that I have met in years. I truly listened to him talk about how life has been bad to him, from financial woes to all of the "what if's" we all catch ourselves saying from time to time. I can't pretend to know what it would be like to be in a perpetually depressed state of mind, so I don't really want to judge.
However...as he speaks, and as I interact with him from time to time I realize more and more that this man is perhaps the most volatile ball of anger and sheer wanting that I have seen in years. This man has got to be the angriest, the most bitter and nasty man I've met. Most people would think of him as simply an asshole. Nothing is fun. Nothing comes from a positive perspective.
So I want to be understanding. I try to look beyond what I hear. But then I see that his anger makes ME angry. WHY? What is to me? Why does HIS anger get to me?
And then I realized it's because I'm watching a man stupidly waste his life brooding all of the things he didn't have, yet could have had....and THATS from MY paradigm; I see him living out his life every single day as if he's pissed about what happened in his life and it's the fault of life, itself. The negatives in life are bad enough and harsh enough. The dark side of life isn't as forgiving and could care less if you'd rather have everything be ideal in your life. And what of these "what if's?" I think of things (some times) that make me evaluate where I am and how I got here. I think of, "If I studied this in college instead" and "If I did this with my money.." and all of the things we all tend to think. But I also realize that that wasn't a life I was supposed to have, and making myself sick over what I don't have is a sort of disease. It's a disease of the soul. Besides, I love how I got where I am. I am who I am because of life. Sure, it wasn't always great...but it was mine..
So I find myself wanting to feel sorry for him, and talk to him and reaching out so he can value what he does have.
But then I see that he makes snide comments and openly mocks people that have happier relationships. He greets news of his acquaintances success' and happy news with rhetorical skepticism and venom. No one else must be happy, and he must drive down even the people in his own surroundings (with no shame) so that he is not alone in that pathetic cloud of misery. There are a lot of people in completely destitute conditions, famished and without their health. There are people starving and diseased. Some without the clothes he has, or the food he has, or the car he drives. Yet still he leaves a trail of anger and depression in his wake, for others to feel.
The verdicts out. A person can stop themselves from being evil in the face of what befell them. It would be one thing if he was sad about his life and feels sorry for himself, but his anger and jealousy have gone far beyond self woe and has become an attempt to poison others. To bring gloom upon others for not having felt his own. In my opinion, it may be sad....but it's unforgivable on many levels.
VERDICT: He is a . The difference between anger that you feel, and anger that has an effect on others is Hitler. Call Godwin's if you want on that smidgen of hyperbole....but the point is made: If anger is so bad that others must not be allowed to enjoy their happiness...it has become an attack. I will not associate freely with dicks.
Life is ONCE. Life is now. Mine will never be spent like that; rich or poor, healthy or sick. I will love this life.
